Original in GOOD HOUSEKEEPING.

SOCIAL GRACES.

For Every-day Service in the Home.

A SERIES OF TWELVE PAPERS, FRESHLY CONSIDERED AND CAREFULLY PREPARED BY

MRS. HESTER M. POOLE.

TITLES AND TREATMENT:

(1.) Home Culture and Refinement

(2.) Mutual Courtesy of Husband and Wife, of Parents and Chil dren, to Elders and Superiors

(3) Dining room and Kitchen Civilities, Consideration and Claims; Courtesy to and from Domestics.

(4) Neighborhood Courtesy; Informal Receptions; Home Gather. ings.

(5) Dinners, Teas, and Balls; dress for public occasions, of both Sexes.

(6) Courtesies of Host, Hostess and Guests.

(7.) Good Form as to Engagements, Weddings, and Wedding Presents.

(8.) Letters of Congratulation; Letters of Condolence and Funeral Remembrances, Floral, and otherwise, Specialties in Stationery and Postal Proprieties.

(9) Courtesies, Comforts and Discomforts of Shopping; of Correspondence, proper and improper.

(10.) Courtesies of Traveling; Hotel Customs and Accommodations; Good Form in unexpected situations

(11.) Duties and Privileges of a Chaperon; Etiquette of Cards and Introductions.

(12.) Courtesies between Stenographers and Typewriters and their Employers, from the two standpoints of Business Demands, and Custom and Privilege; Cycling Etiquette for both sexes; Proper Deportment on or off the Wheel; Etiquette in Woman's Clubs.

CHAPTER IV.

EXT in importance and interest to the home is the neighborhood. However positive her character, no woman can ignore her environment. It may not be all she would select, but she must be indeed poor if, by her womanly tact and good feeling, it be not made the better by her living in it. If it be easy to make enemies of one's neighbors, it is also easy to make friends. To attain the former unenviable condition, one has only to disregard all the amenities and never do a kindly act. To attain the acme of disagreeability, allow the family to encroach upon the rights of those living contiguous Chestnut

to the homestead. By all means keep a dog or two, and let them run loose about the country. If they are huge fellows, select those whose fierce looks are enough to frighten women and children into hysteria. Never mind their fears; the law permits you to keep as many as you desire. If the dogs are small, let them make up for want of size in quantity of bark. They may dig up your neighbor's flowers, haunt his area, howl under his windows and fight on his front steps. What of that? Shall I not do what I choose with mine own?" If you live in the suburbs of a town or city, or keep your dogs in a flat, you will be able to render yourself still more obnoxious.

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In addition, where you do not dwell in a block and have a little plot of ground, keep a flock of hens to visit your neighbors. Between the scratching and the crowing you will win additional anathemas.

To speak seriously, no one can be more devoted to pets than the writer. But she believes that human beings have rights that even the owners of animals and fowls should respect. Where we cannot have space for the isolation of pets that give so much real pleasure, that add so much to life, shall we not deny ourselves for the sake of our neighbor? In what other manner can we construe the Golden Rule?

The disregard of thoughtfulness in these respects produces an enormous amount of friction, heart burning, enmity and illness. Persons in a delicate state of health are often seriously affected by the noise and presence of dogs and fowls. Good manners should not supersede good feeling. But an appeal to the former is sometimes more effectual than to the latter.

In a thousand ways social graces may testify to a genuine sense of humanity, though there be no desire for close association between neighbors. To be deprecated is the habit, not obsolete in many country places, of running into adjoining homes, unceremoniously, morning, noon and night. Often there are back-door calls, where one woman just "slips in the kitchen way" to borrow an implement or beg a recipe. To both parties this is a demoralizing habit. No woman possessing a particle of delicacy but shrinks from such intercourse. Let us keep our Lares and Penates sacred from intrusion by prying eyes and wagging tongues.

If near us live the extremely poor, it is a social grace always to speak or bow when meeting them. RL Br.

Without such recognition the rich, prosperous and happy can manage to survive. So can the poor and the unfortunate. But it is surely good breeding to cast, if possible, a gleam of sunshine over an unhappy lot.

A new neighbor should be called upon as soon as she is known to be settled. Life is dreary and cold in a strange place with no friend anear. By a thousand signs, where there is no other method of knowing, it can be decided that the party is or is not likely to be an acquisition to society. It is better to err, if at all, on the friendly side. If it be not desirable to be continued, one can let the acquaintance end with the first call. In this regard women are more conservative than men, often more than they need be. Again and again, families moving into a new domicile are left solitary for months at a time. Each neighbor waits until the stranger's social status is decided. And so she feels forlorn and miserable enough.

Many little ways will be found practicable, by a tactful woman, to show a social grace that will not be forgotten, and yet not commit herself or her family to intimacy with the newcomer. A present of flowers or fruit, sent by a domestic, will imply a recognition of common humanity. Where a call is made it should be between the hours of three and five, and the caller should leave with her own card that of her husband. Within two weeks it should be returned. Then, if likely to prove mutually agreeable, the older resident may call soon again, with her husband or with other members of the family.

This mode of neighborhood association, it must be understood, applies to those who live in country places and small towns. In a city, one's real neigh bors often live miles away. Yet even here, where those on either side are strangers who always expect to be so, if members of adjoining houses come in contact when entering or leaving their dwellings, a bowing acquaintance is gracious and pleasant.

Where there are young children, it should be the effort of a housekeeper to see that they are not troublesome to adjacent families. Frequently they make acquaintances among other children while the parents continue strangers. Then they may run into one another's houses, and make free in dining room and chambers in a way that proves very annoying. From a tender age children should be taught never to enter a house unless invited by their elders, and then to remain but a short time. Indifference to the actions of one's children when away from the parental roof is an unpardonable but too frequent offence. Besides encroaching upon the privacy of others, they are liable to babble about home affairs in a shocking way. Such incursions give food for gossips.

Where the sanctity of home life is faithfully preserved, there will be no chance for the tale bearer and gossip monger. One can be kind, yet keep these plagues of Egypt out of all except the sitting room. Questions can be parried, remarks met with discouraging silence, and important lessons taught to the

mischief maker, yet the self-respecting woman keeps a quiet dignity.

Extremely important to any household is the social life carried on in its vicinity. In a thickly settled community it is well to have a day at home, of which all one's acquaintances are notified. Thereby are saved much time and strength. Here neighbors may drop in any hour after three o'clock and find the house mistress and the elder daughters in their pretty house-frocks, with some light work at hand. On a side table is the inevitable teakettle and spirit lamp or the frequently renewed chocolate pitcher, flanked by wafers and perhaps lady-fingers or bonbons. Usually the refreshments should be of the lightest quality. But from December to Easter or one or two months within that space of time, cards to a wider circle may be issued.

These, bearing the name of the lady of the house, and, if she has entered society of the eldest daughter, contain in the left-hand corner the words, written or engraved, "Thursdays until April," or "Wednesday afternoons and evenings in January."

These are pleasant occasions. Visitors are not only certain of seeing their friends, but of meeting mutual acquaintances whom it would take much time to visit separately.

The door is tended by a maid servant or a boy smartly dressed. But the light refreshments, which should always include tea, chocolate or bouillon are served by the daughter or some young friend. Guests find the hostess near the parlor entrance, and only removing their outer wraps, remain not over an hour at most. On leaving a card is dropped into the receiver in the hall, after adieu is said to the hostess, who divides her attention impartially between all visitors. If there be a basement dining room, refreshments should be served in a corner or side of the back parlor. If the At Home be confined to a few occasions instead of the informal weekly welcome, lasting from fall to spring, a greater variety of viands are allowable. They should not exceed fruits, cake, almonds and bonbons.

At the tea table with its pretty embroidered or laceedged white linen cover, sits a deft-fingered daughter or friend. At the back simmers the brass teakettle, heated by a spirit lamp, while around are grouped pretty china cups, saucers and plates, a pile of doilies, sugar bowl and creamer, and a dish of sliced lemon for those who prefer the cup that cheers served with this Russian accompaniment, now fast becoming fashionable. The best way of brewing tea is to use the silver tea ball, made in a circular or oval form.

In this case the hot water is poured over the ball filled with the herb, which is kept in the cup until the visitor indicates that the strength suffices. For each person the tea is thus freshly made and though it is more trouble, the result is satisfactory. As often as needed the ball is emptied and refilled.

Informal daytime receptions, given once or twice each year, need be little more elaborate. On the