THE POPE

THE Pope he leads a happy life,
He fears not married care nor strife.
He drinks the best of Rhenish wine,-
I would the Pope's gay lot were mine.

But yet all happy's, not his life,
He has no maid, nor blooming wife;
No child has he to raise his hope,-
I would not wish to be the Pope.

The Sultan better pleases me,
His is a life of jollity;

He's wives as many as he will,—

I would the Sultan's throne then fill.

But even he's a wretched man,

He must obey the Alcoran;

He dare not drink one drop of wine-
I would not change his lot for mine.

So here I'll take my lowly stand,
I'll drink my own, my native land;
I'll kiss my maiden fair and fine,
And drink the best of Rhenish wine.

And when my maiden kisses me
I'll think that I the Sultan be;
And when my cheery glass I tope,
I'll fancy then I am the Pope.

Charles Lever.

ALL AT SEA

THE VOYAGE OF A CERTAIN UNCERTAIN SAILORMAN

I SAW a certain sailorman who sat beside the sea,

And in the manner of his tribe he yawned this yarn

to me:

All at Sca

71

""Twere back in eighteen-fifty-three, or mebbe fifty-four, I skipped the farm,-no, 't were the shop,-an' went to Baltimore.

I shipped aboard the Lizzie-or she might ha' bin the

Jane;

Them wimmin names are mixey, so I don't remember plain;

But anyhow, she were a craft that carried schooner rig, (Although Sam Swab, the bo'sun, allus swore she were a brig);

We sailed away from Salem Town,-no, lemme think;'t were Lynn,—

An' steered a course for Africa (or Greece, it might ha'

bin);

But anyway, we tacked an' backed an' weathered many a storm

Oh, no,

-as I recall it now, that week was fine an' warm! Who did I say the cap'n was? I didn't say at all?

Wa-a-ll now, his name were 'Lijah Bell—or was it Eli

Ball?

I kinder guess 't were Eli. He'd a big, red, bushy beardNo-o-o, come to think, he allus kept his whiskers nicely sheared.

But anyhow, that voyage was the first I'd ever took, An' all I had to do was cut up cabbage for the cook; But come to talk o' cabbage just reminds me, that there trip Would prob'ly be my third one, on a IIong Kong clippership.

The crew they were a jolly lot, an' used to sing 'Avast,' I think it were, or else Ahoy,' while bailing out the mast. And as I recollect it now,-"

But here I cut him short, And said: "It's time to tack again, and bring your wits to port;

I came to get a story both adventurous and true,

And here is how I started out to write the interview: 'I saw a certain sailorman,' but you turn out to be The most un-certain sailorman that ever sailed the sea!"

He puffed his pipe, and answered, "Wa-a-ll, I thought 'twere mine, but still,

I must ha' told the one belongs to my twin brother Bill!" Frederick Moxon.

BALLAD OF THE PRIMITIVE JEST

I AM an ancient Jest!

Paleolithic man

In his arboreal nest

The sparks of fun would fan;

My outline did he plan,

And laughed like one possessed,
'Twas thus my course began,

I am a Merry Jest.

I am an early Jest!

Man delved and built and span;

Then wandered South and West
The peoples Aryan,

I journeyed in their van;
The Semites, too, confessed,-
From Beersheba to Dan,-

I am a Merry Jest.

I am an ancient Jest,

Through all the human clan,

Red, black, white, free, oppressed,
Hilarious I ran!

I'm found in Lucian,

In Poggio, and the rest,

I'm dear to Moll and Nan!

I am a Merry Jest!

ENVOY:

Prince, you may storm and ban

Joe Millers are a pest,

Suppress me if you can!

I am a Merry Jest!

Andrew Lang.

How to Eat Watermelons

VILLANELLE OF THINGS AMUSING

THESE are the things that make me laugh-
Life's a preposterous farce, say I!
And I've missed of too many jokes by half.

The high-heeled antics of colt and calf,

The men who think they can act, and try-
These are the things that make me laugh.

The hard-boiled poses in photograph,

The groom still wearing his wedding tie-
And I've missed of too many jokes by half!

These are the bubbles I gayly quaff

With the rank conceit of the new-born fly-
These are the things that make me laugh!

For, Heaven help me! I needs must chaff,
And people will tickle me till I die-
And I've missed of too many jokes by half!

So write me down in my epitaph

As one too fond of his health to cry-
These are the things that make me laugh,
And I've missed of too many jokes by half!

Gelett Burgess.

73

HOW TO EAT WATERMELONS

WHEN you slice a Georgy melon you mus' know what you

is at

An' look out how de knife is gwine in.

Put one-half on dis side er you-de yuther half on dat,

En' den you gits betwixt 'em, en begin!

Oh, melons!

Honey good ter see;

But we'en it comes ter sweetness,

De melon make fer me!

En den you puts yo' knife up, en you sorter licks de blade,

En never stop fer sayin' any grace;

But cat ontell you satisfy-roll over in de shade,

En sleep ontell de sun shine in yo' face!

Oh, melons!

Honey good ter see;

But we'en it comes ter sweetness,

De melon make fer me!

Frank Libby Stanton.

A VAGUE STORY

PERCHANCE it was her eyes of blue,

Her cheeks that might the rose have shamed,
Her figure in proportion true

To all the rules by artists framed;
Perhaps it was her mental worth

That made her lover love her so,
Perhaps her name, or wealth, or birth-

I cannot tell-I do not know.

He may have had a rival, who

Did fiercely gage him to a duel,
And, being luckier of the two,

Defeated him with triumph cruel;
Then she may have proved false, and turned
To welcome to her arms his foe,

Left him despairing, conquered, spurned-
I cannot tell-I do not know.

So oft such woes will counteract
The thousand ecstacies of love,
That you may fix on base of fact
The story hinted at above;
But all on earth so doubtful is,

Man knows so little here below,
That, if you ask for proof of this,
I cannot tell-I do not know.

Walter Parke.