From the farthest dingey-donga Then cried Giffey-Wiffey loudly, Like a kangaroo he bourded; Seven long days and nights he hurried, Then he came forth in his blanket And he spoke, "White soldier, shoot me!" Ended all his craft and cunning, FLOREANT-LAURI (JAMES M. LOWRY). THE HUNTING OF CETEWAYO. FULL of anger was Sir Garnet Through his thick moustache he mutter'd Raging like an angry tiger "I will nobble Cetewayo, Bag this horrid rascal," said he ; Not so wide the realm of Zulus, Not so terrible the bye-ways, That my vengeance shall not spot him!" Through the bush where he had hidden, Then the corpulent old sinner Heard the tramp of many footsteps, All his plottings and his schemings, From Snatches of Song, by F. B. Doveton, 1880. HIAWATHA'S PHOTOGRAPHING. (In an age of imitation, I can claim no special merit for this slight attempt at doing what is known to be so easy. Any fairly practised writer, with the slightest ear for rhythm, could compose, for hours together, in the easy running metre of 'The Song of Hiawatha.'") FROM his shoulder Hiawatha But he opened out the hinges, Pushed and pulled the joints and hinges, Till it looked all squares and oblongs, In the Second Book of Euclid. This he perched upon a tripod- All the family in order, Sat before him for their pictures; First the Governor, the Father, Grand, heroic, was the notion: Next to him the eldest daughter : She suggested very little, To the corner of the nostrils." After having taken each member of the family in succession, with the most dismal results : Finally my Hiawatha Tumbled all the tribe together, ('Grouped' is not the right expression), Then they joined, and all abused it, Unrestrainedly abused it, As "the worst and ugliest picture They could possibly have dreamed of." But my Hiawatha's patience, Thus departed Hiawatha. From Rhyme? and Reason? by Lewis Carroll, 1883. These disjointed extracts give but a poor idea of this most amusing poem, the comical effects of which are much heightened by Mr. A. B. Frost's humorous illustrations. THE LAWN-TENNIS PARTY AT PEPPErhanger. man's knock. I WAS sitting in my wigwam, Looking from my lofty wigwam, On the fir-clad hill of Dryburgh, O'er the vale of Pepperhanger. Suddenly there came a rapping, The Post- Double rapping, double tapping, Sounding through the little wigwam, Startling quiet Pepperhanger. Thus the Government Messénjah, Heathen Mercury of brazen buttons, Mytho- Crimson-collared, azure-coated, logy. Blue as when some ancient Briton, As enlightenment came o'er him, Thinking skin was rather shabby, History of Went and put coat of Woad on. England. He, the carrier of all letters, He, the bearer of all tidings To the lofty hill of Dryburgh, To the vale of Pepperhanger. Swiftly then I took the letter; Eagerly I read the message From a hospitable lady Of the vale of Pepperhanger, "Come at four o'clock to tiffin, If no better action urges ; In the cool of Tuesday evening, Come and play a game of Tennis On my lawns at Pepperhanger." Thus her letter: then I sallied To her almost hidden wigwam. Which from East and rude Sou'-wester Evergreen the pine-tree shelters; Took my Tennis shoes of rubber, Mocassins of Indian rubber Racket, too, of Horace Bayley, To the tournament of Tennis On the lawns of Pepperhanger. Lodge's Came the lordly Tennyslornah. Peerage. Came the Reverend B. A. Kander, Clergy Came the cute 'un, Charley Pleycynge, List. Came the masher, young de Vorley, Came the great Sir V. O. Verandah, Came the warrior, Foragh Biscoe, Strangers from a distant countrie, To the tournament of Tennis In the vale of Pepperhanger. There we had a game at Tennis, Outdoor Tennis let us call it, Lest the Lords of real Tennis Should invoke a curse upon us; Hotly smote the fierce back-hander, Volleyed toward, also froward, Till the speeding ball appeared as One continuous flash of lightning: Shouted loudly cries of Tennis, "Forty-thirty " and "advantage," Giving fifteen, owing thirty For a bisque, anon half-thirty Sludgeboroughin-theMarsh. Owing, giving, taking, wanting, Colenso's Handicapping calculations Arithme- All too hard for Pepperhanger! Presently the tea-bell sounded tic. Through the pine-tree-shelter'd gardens To the ne'er inebriating Ever cheering goblet summons. From Pastime. August 24, 1883. The late Mr. Shirley Brooks composed a number of clever parodies, many of which were contributed to Punch during his Editorship of that journal. Three of the longest and most amusing of these were The Very Last Idyll, after Tennyson; The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, after Coleridge; and The Song of Hiawatha, after Longfellow. A quotation from The Very Last Idyll was given on page 44; and the parody on Coleridge will be quoted when that author is reached; the parody of Longfellow, which appeared in Punch as far back as January, 1856, commenced thus: THE SONG OF HIAWATHA. When he published former poems, Mars he gave the Night's First Watches, Should you ask me, Is the poem I should answer, I should tell you Read and learn, and then be thankful Punch and noble Henry Wadsworth. Truer poet, better fellow, Than to be annoyed at jesting From his friend, great Punch, who loves him. The following is a list of famous advertisers of thirty years ago, taken from Hiawater, a parody contained in "The Shilling Book of Beauty," by Cuthbert Bede (J. Blackwood, 1853): "Howlawaya, the quack doctor; Mechisteel and Warrenblacking ; (By an admirer of Longfellow's "Evangeline," who sorrowfully sat through the six concerts.) THIS is the music primeval. The festival singers from Bayreuth, Solemn and stern, with their shirt fronts studded, and swallow-tailed garments, Stand like Druids of old, with voices sad and prophetic, Stand like harpers hoar, with beards that rest on their bosoms, Loud from its ligneous caverns, the deep-voiced neighbouring organ Moans, and in accents disconsolate answers the orchestra wailing. This is the music primeval, and when it is ended, Herr Wagner Is called to the front, and is crowned with a wreath by the Madame Materna; Then there is hugging and kissing and weeping with Wagner Wilhelmj, And Richter, to whom is presented a baton-brand new, silver-mounted; But where are the beautiful maidens who solemnly sat in the boxes? Where are the men-tawny swells-who talked of clubs, EXCELSIOR. THE shades of night were falling fast, His brow was sad; his eye beneath The accents of that unknown tongue. At break of day, as heavenward A voice cried through the startled air, A traveller, by the faithful hound, That banner with the strange device, There in the twilight cold and gray, It is possible that Longfellow had the motto of New York," Excelsior," in his mind when he composed this hackneyed poem, which has served as the model for hundreds of parodies. A few of the more amusing only can be inserted. EXCELSIOR "PIDGIN ENGLISH." IN The following article is from Pro and Con, December 14, 1872. 'Pidgin English is the name given to an absurd patois which is used in conversation between the Chinese celestials and the outer barbarians. It appears to be a physical impossibility for a Chinaman to pronounce the letter r as in rough, cry, or curry, which he turns into lough, cly, and cully, as young English children often do. V, he turns into W, th into f, and to most words ending with a consonant, he adds a final syllable, as in find findie, catch catchee, &c. I, me, my, and mine, are all expressed by one word, my. The vocabulary consists of a few words of French origin, such as savey, one or two from the Portuguese, many common Chinese expressions, such as chop-chop for quick; man-man, which means stop; maskee, never mind, or, do not mind; chin-chin, good-bye; welly culio, or muchee culio, very curious; Joss-pidgin-man, a priest; and Topside Galah, hurrah for the top, or Excelsior. There is also a plentiful use of the word pidgin, which is simply a corruption of our word business, but it appears to be applied with the utmost impartiality, to a variety of most incongruous phrases. As an example of every day talk, a lady telling her nurse to bring down her little girl and boy to see a visitor would say,Aymah, suppose you go topside, catchee two piecee chiloe, bull chiloe, cow chiloe, chop-chop.' From a gentleman well acquainted with China and the Chinese, we have received the following clever imitation of Excelsior, which is pronounced a very fair specimen of Pidgin English" : TOPSIDE GALAH. "THAT nightee tim begin chop-chop. He cally that flag wid chop so nicee "He too muchee solly, one piecee eye "Inside that housee he can see light, "Olo man talkee, 'No can walkee!' "Man-man,' one galo talkee he, Topside Galah! His brow was black, his eye beneath "Try not the High," the porter said, "O stay," his comrade said, "and rest Cries, "Name and college!" "Beware the proctor's sacred paunch, Next morn, as tolled the stroke of nine, hoped they were not much too late, There, like a mouse-awaiting cat, And, like a death-knell booming far, "Beware the gutter at thy feet! A voice replied far thro' the dark, That night, by watchmen on their round, Still grasping in his manual vice, That pot-once filled with something niceXX-oh lor!!! From Mr. H. Cholmondeley-Pennell's Puck on Pegasus. Chatto and Windus, London. THE THEATRE. "Nam quae pervincere voces Evaluere sonum referunt quem nostra Theatra?" THE theatre was filling fast, As through the open door there passed A stranger with a scarlet tie, That instantly provoked the cry His nose was red, his lips beneath, "Stay, stay," a Master said, "and rest, "Ugh Turn him out !" The public orator began To spout his Latin like a man ; "Ugh! Turn him out!" The Gaisford and the Newdigate "Ugh! Turn him out!" The Vice rose up from off his chair, I left the place with aching brain, "Ugh! Turn him out !" Lays of Modern Oxford (Chapman and Hall, 1874). EXCELSIOR. THE price of meat was rising fast, A toiler who, with bitter laugh, |