good-humor and common sense, but strangely igno- | sure to be there. He became very much interested rant of what he calls "the sciences." One day Miss when they began to discuss the Maine Law in our Dasked him if he had ever seen a bazar. Not State Legislature; and the day after it passed, hapknowing exactly what a bazar was, but shrewdly pening to meet Pat, I made it known to him. With suspecting that it was some sort of an animal, our a rueful countenance he exclaimed, "Och! murhero replied, "No, I never saw any wild animals ther! don't say it. The haythens!-it gives me except a bear, two monkeys, and a few other var- hart a big sthroke! Divil a bit a wonder they calls mounts. The bazar died before the show got here!" it the mane law, for of all the mane laws this, for that same, would git the ma-jar-i-ty any where intirely! What we will do at the wakes I dunno; it's the bad times intirely whin a man can't bury his frinds dacently, nor himself nayther!" After a short pause, with a very serious face, he said, "It's my opinion that law is kal-ke-lated to bring grate distress not only on the livin' but on the did; and bad luck to it, I say, and all sich!" A LADY relative, who lives in a certain town in Vermont, told me last summer this anecdote of a young clergyman who had come to supply the vacant pulpit of the Congregational Church in that place, as a candidate for settlement: He was just out of the Theological Seminary, and had the peculiarity of an extremely boyish size and complexion, which, of course, was unknown to most of the congregation. A little before the hour the new minister made his way, almost unnoticed, into the pulpit, where he was concealed from view by the reading-desk in front of him. But an old lady, who sat close on the right of the pulpit in consideration of her deafness, was much concerned to see a boy in the place of the expected clergyman. So she very softly arose, stepped on tip-toe to the pulpit stairs, and beckoning with her forefinger, whispered loudly, in coaxing accents, "Come down, sonny, you mustn't sit there; that's the place for the minister!" FROM one of our brave boys now in Arkansas we have the following: When the Eighty-sixth Illinois was stationed at Nashville, the orders in camp were very strict. Sentinels were stationed around camp with instructions to allow no one to cross their beats in the night without the countersign, and no one in the daytime without the proper "pass," except for water, or on other duty, in squads. OUR correspondent in Virginia City, State of Nevada, writes: Messrs. R and L, who keep a drug-store in this city, had occasion a short time since to remove their stock during the alteration of their premises. Being given to hospitality, it is their custom to place in an accessible part of their store sundry casks containing spiritual comforts of various kinds. Among others who were in the habit of regaling themselves was an old Irishman of the genus "Bummer," who was in the habit of paying visits, which certainly were not those of angels. Their temporary premises being rather small, the casks were set up on end to save space, with the cocks pointing upward. Pat came in and proceeded to investigate the same, hoping by some principle of hydraulics to extract a portion of the precious fluid. Finding all his efforts unavailing, he turned, with a mournful air, to Mr. L, and pointing to the row of casks, exclaimed, "Bedad an' it's hopin' I am ye'll soon be afther movin', for sure ye've no convayniance here at all, at all!" WE get this from Bridgeport, Alabama : One day, as the sentinels were leisurely walking their beats, a furious wind-storm came on, and dashing limbs, shingles, hats, etc., recklessly about, swept into camp, upsetting barrel chimneys, throw-tain A, the, Quarter-master at this post, to go ing off tent flies, prostrating tents, and spreading confusion generally. A soldier passing at the time, and nearly losing his balance, called out to the sentinel, "Say, John! what did you let that cross your beat for ?" The sentinel, nothing at a loss, replied, "Because it came in squads!" On one AN army lad writes to the Drawer: During the summer the Virginia farmers, being much troubled by our boys foraging, were apt to conceal their stock and poultry as much as possible, so as not to tempt the Yankee appetite. occasion we were obliged to go down into a dark cellar for the porkers with which to make our dinner. But we were much more amused, another time, to hear one of the boys exclaim, upon returning to camp without any spoils, "There is nothing on the whole plantation but a yoke of oxen, and they were chained to the bed-post in the house!" SAITH an Old Colony, Massachusetts, man: If the "Maine Law" is not entirely worn out, take the following, which gives the opinion of a friend of the "Irish persuasion:" Pat lived with a neighbor of ours, and oftentimes, when I was passing that way, I would stop and talk a few moments with him. Pat was fond of the "crayther cumfort wunst in a while;" and whenever there was a wedding or a wake Pat was up the railroad a few miles to inspect a coal-mine. "Mr. Wright?" said the Captain, mildly. "Ain't you mistaken in the name?" "No, Sir. Mr. Wright wants to get men to go down to Savannah for breaksmen to Sherman." "I don't know Mr. Wright, but I know Mr. Davis." "Mr. Davis! Does he want men?" said the verdant dupe. "Yes, Sir. Jeff Davis has had a big lot of such fellows as you working as breaksmen to Sherman for some time, and they have scarcely slackened his speed at all yet. And now he wants to get up a new gang-will you go?" The fellow "dug out" on double-quick time, while we all shouted with laughter. A HARTFORD friend says: A gentleman in this city, Mr. G-, who has recently become quite THIS comes from Trenton, Grundy County, Missouri : When the news reached Trenton of Thomas's great victory over Hood at Nashville, in common with the citizens of the village we illuminated our dwelling. Our children, particularly our little fiveyear-old, were greatly delighted. Now our little five-year-old is a great boy in his way, and says many cute things. When he had enjoyed the sport for a few hours he became wearied, and went up to his mother, and, says he, "Ma, let's unluminate, for I'm tired!" This "brought down the house," and his ma unluminated. THE following is very likely to be true: A short time ago two prominent railroad officials, Mr. A— and Mr. B——, were engaged in a discussion of railroad rules relating to the movement of trains. The discussion grew quite interesting, cach party supporting his position with fervent argument, if not always sound reasoning. They finally separated for the night, and each went home with his head full of the subject. The next morning, being Sunday, Mr. A went to his office to write some important letters which, by reason of the discussion the night before, had been neglected. While thus engaged Mr. B- -entered the office, and expressing surprise at finding Mr. A at work on the Sabbath, asked if he knew what the Fourth Commandment said. "Why, yes," replied Mr. A——, without looking up from his writing. "If the Eastward-bound train gets twenty behind its own time, it must keep out of the way," etc. A BROOME COUNTY man writes: You have frequently published certificates of Western Justices of the Peace. If you have any which beats this, given by a New York Justice, I should like to see it. I copy "verbatim et literatim et spellatim" from the original, now in my possession: "Personly Came before me the within person George N- and Almira N- his wife knoon to me to be the person hoo exacuted the within mortige and exnoleged the execution of the same and the said being by me examinde apart from hur husband exknowlige that shee icknowlege the same freley and without anný compushen on the husband JOIN W P- Justice" IN the town of Gaines, Orleans County, New York, lives an old gentleman named H, who is more noted for his money-making tact than for his general intelligence. Among his many peculiarities, he is somewhat noted for his dislike for the Scripture and its teachings, and improves every opportunity to make his dislikes known. himself of the following original idea: "Wa'al, I'll tell ye: there's the whole book of Job that had better been left out; and," added he, with much earnestness, "it wouldn't never have gone in, neither, if Job hadn't been on the Committee!" ONE of the cemeteries in which the people of Detroit bury their dead is situated a short distance from the city, with which it is connected by a plankroad. Midway there is a toll-gate. Like most other toll-barred roads, funerals are allowed to pass free. The well-known Dr. B was returning from calling on a patient, and stopped at this gate to pay his toll. Says the Doctor to the gate-keeper, "You ought to pass doctors free of toll." "Ah! no, Doctor," says the keeper, "you send too many dead heads through here!" The Doctor paid his toll and drove on. AFTER Burnside's fight at Fredericksburg, and when the army had become settled in winter-quarters, flour was offered for sale by the commissaries. The officers and men were glad of the chance to cat hot bread. One day I heard a man in the rear of my tent asking my cook if he could lend him a board to knead bread on. Morey, who was always ready with a joke, replied: "A board to knead bread on ? Why, I need bread on my stomach!" THE Delaware Republican has the following advertisement of a remarkable dog that strayed away without its head: "$5 REWARD.-Strayed from the premises of the subscriber, in Centreville, on the 2d of October, a small dog near the color of an opossum, with yellow legs and head and tail cut off. Any person returning him will receive the above reward. DANIEL KILROY." A FRIEND of ours purchases his boots in Hamburg, Germany, and his clothes in New York. He says he is shod by a Dutchman and shoddied by a Yankee. A "HIRED-HELP" of ours being sent to a distant clearing on the farm, was told to come right in when he heard the dinner-horn. Scratching his head, he rather comically remarked, "Sure, an' maybe I won't hear it at all, at all! Hadn't I better take it with me, and then, you know, I can blow it myself?" saw a child in the road stumbling and falling. He A CLERGYMAN lately traveling in the Oil Region kindly picked her up, saying, "Poor dear! are you hurt?" when she cried out, "I ain't poor! Dad struck a ile well yesterday!" WE hear of many mean men and women, but I doubt if any one meaner than this could even be thought of: Soon after the last new 66 stamp duty" made its appearance a "down Easter," from Maine, Silas Flint by name, entered one of our large stationers here, in this city (i. e., New York)-the stationer, by-theway, was a friend of Silas. After buying a few things the stationer, thinking to please Silas, handed him a pack of the best French playing-cards. Silas took them, turned them over slowly in his hand, and then looking up at the stationer, said, Not long since, while in conversation with a neighbor on the merits of the Bible, he was asked to state some of his objections to its teachings. "Wa'al," said he, "there's a great many things that hadn't never ought to 'a been there." Being pressed to be more explicit, he gravely delivered not stamped!" "Much obliged to you, Mr. Rose, much obliged; but I must just fine you a little. These cards are I A DOG'S DAY ENDED. AM only a dog, and I've had my day; So, idle and dreaming, stretched out I lay A poor old hunter whose work is done. Dream? Yes, indeed; though I am but a dog, Far away in the top of the hickory-tree, Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1865, by Harper and Brothers, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Southern District of New York. VOL. XXX.-No. 179.-Oo For all we can harm them, old master and I. For time, cold, and hardship have stiffened his knee; His hands tremble sorely, and go to his eyes I am going-I hear the great wolf on my track; Oh come to me, master! the last hedge is passed; You will see little Lottie again by-and-by. As he flung himself down on the brute's shaggy coat, But long ere the snow over graves softly fell Old Matthew was resting from labor as well; While the cottage stood empty, yet back from the hill The voice of the hound in the morn echoes still. ROM ice and snow, a half-frozen river and | gle day, somewhere in the distant Pacific. FROM the chilled air of an American winter, to sunny skies and summer. We were to leave the war behind us. Seventeen thousand miles of steaming for our untried river-boat; with long months of waiting for home - news, for words of war or peace. Waiting; with as much heart-sickness, perhaps, from hope deferred, for those we left watching events of each day, as for us to whom the stories of long campaigns, profitless battles, perhaps great victories, would come together, come without warning, in a sin Our vessel, the Wateree, was the first iron vessel of war ever built for Government. Of fair sea-going size, her draught was so light-scarcely more than that of a fishing schooner-that the chances of her safely performing the task allotted her were at least problematical. From Washington, then, early in March, 1864, meeting a thirty-hours' gale when off Cape Hatteras, we steamed in eight days to Charlotte Amalia-a picturesque little town. The Island of Saint Thomas has a single harbor, scooped |