Slike strani
PDF
ePub

over your infancy, who loves you so much in spite of all the melancholy ideas which you nourish against her. No! never will I be guilty of it; but still you must kill some one. And then it was

that the idea came into my head to kill my sister-in law. I remember it very well-it was at Daix; it was in the year 1832. It was announced to me by mistake that my sister-in-law was dead; it was another of my relations who died. I then accepted the leave of absence which was given to me, but which I should not have done, had I not believed that she was no longer living; then, as soon as I arrived at home, and learnt that she was not dead, I felt a sudden seizure, a drag at my heart, which did me considerable injury, and my idea took its course.' 'What is the instrument with which you desire to kill your sister-in-law?' Here Glenadel melted away, his eyes were bathed in tears, he looked at his sister-in-law, and said, The instrument! the gentlest; but, whatever it is, once begun it must be finished; I know that I must see her dead-that is as certain. as that God is God.' 'Are you not afraid to plunge your brother and your little nephews in misery and despair?' That idea comes to me a little, but I shall be killed, and then I shall not see them. Such a monster as I am will be got rid of—I shall cease to live. I wish for no other happiness.' I then recollected that M. Grandsault de Salviat, my colleague and friend, who is at the present moment in Paris, had spoken to me, about a year before, of a young man who, some years ago, had come to him, accompanied by his mother, to consult him upon a similar case, and, as such instances are exceedingly rare, I thought that it might have been Glenadel himself; I therefore asked him if it was he that had consulted my colleague, and he answered in the affirmative. 'What advice did M. Grandsault give you?' 'He gave me some excellent opinions, and afterwards bled me.' 'Were you at all relieved by the bleeding?' 'I did not find the least benefit from the bleeding; the idea still followed me with the same force.' 'I am about to give my report upon the state of your mind, and it will follow that you will be shut up in an asylum, where most probably you will be cured of your madness.' 'To cure me is impossible; but make your report as quickly as you can-that is of the greatest consequence. I cannot longer control myself.' 'Your parents must have given you good principles of morality, and good examples; and you must also have had an honest mind to have been enabled so long to resist so terrible a temptation.' Here Glenadel was again very much affected. He shed tears, and answered, 'Sir, you guess that; but resistance pains me more than death. I see that I can no longer exist; I shall certainly kill my sister-in-law, unless I am prevented, that is as certain as God is God.' 'Glenadel,' I said,

'before I leave you, I request one favour: resist yet a few days; you will not much longer see your sister-in-law; we are about to remove you from hence, as you desire it so much.' 'Sir, I thank you; I will do my best to obey your recommendations.' I left the house, and as I went to mount my horse to take my departure, Glenadel desired that I should be called back; and, on my return, he said, 'Tell the gentlemen that I beg of them to place me where there is not the slightest chance of my escape, for I shall make every attempt to do so; and if I can escape, be assured that immediately my sister-in-law will be dead. I shall only escape to kill her. I beg you to tell the gentlemen so.' I assured him I would do so; but as I saw that he was in a state of high excitement, I asked him whether the cord that bound his arms was sufficiently tight, and if he did not feel that he had sufficient strength to release himself. He made an attempt, and said that he feared he had. But if I find you something which will keep your arms more strongly bound, will you accept it?' 'With gratitude, sir.' 'In that case, I will ask the brigadier of the gens-d'armes to lend me that which he makes use of to tie the hands of prisoners, and I will send it to you.' 'You will very much oblige me.' I purposed going frequently to Glenadel to assure myself of the state of his mind; but after the long and painful conversation I had held with him, and after that which had been said to me by my colleague, M. Grandsault, and likewise after that his brother and sister-in-law reported to me, who are deeply affected in consequence of the melancholy condition of Glenadel, without repeating my visits, I am perfectly convinced that John Glenadel is afflicted with delirious monomania, characterized in him by an irresistible propensity to murder,-a monomania by which Papavoine and others have been afflicted, fortunately but few in number. In faith of which, I hereunto affix my name, &c."

ROYAL ROADS TO MARRIAGE.

OLD questions are for ever being ground young again, and the matrimonial is one of them.

A year or two ago the papers were full of it. Fierce waxed the controversy, fervid was the eloquence employed, bitter were the denunciations felt necessary, wild in the extreme the suggestions hazarded by one side and the other.

At length people grew tired of the whole business, and in less than a month it was forgotten. The world, like a great baby, had "had its cry out," and charitable editors searched diligently for a new grievance, knowing that John Bull cannot be happy without his grumble, though, like the rest of mankind, he is, as the Latin Grammar sententiously remarks, "greedy of novelty."

Since the marriage question was last discussed we have had a Spanish revolution, a Franco-German war, a Communistic outbreak, and an imaginary, but none the less exciting, "Battle of Dorking," not to mention other spirit-stirring events; now, however, that there is a lull in the arena of politics, our old friend is again to the fore.

Little boys run about the streets, holding up to public admiration the "Matrimonial Gazette," and the irrepressible clerk is again beginning to ask himself, "Can I marry on a hundred a year?"

We propose, in the ensuing pages, to tell the young clerk, and a few other stalking-horses of the same kidney, what he can and cannot do.

But first a word as to the condition, real and alleged, of the "matrimonial market."

Celibacy, we are told, is "on the increase." Single blessednessa state, let the Amazons of the Victoria Press say what they will to the contrary, usually considered by no means blessed by the ladieshas been discussed with much fervour in the United States-we trust to be excused for the involuntary pun-and our transatlantic brethren are ungallant enough to say that marriage is on the decrease, and that they are glad of it. In England, however, Dan Cupid is still in the ascendant, and we are by no means disposed

to exult in a theory which would sadly have grieved the heart of his late domestic Majesty King George III.

Should any reader be alarmed into fancying that our young men and women are no longer on the look-out for "a settlement," he will be quickly reassured when he glances at the literature of the period, in the way of newspapers, reviews, and magazines. Proof in abundance may be had, on reference to the last page of such publications as the "London Reader" and the "Penny Miscellany," which, until the last year or two, have been the chief media of communication for suitors of both sexes in a certain rank of life. Such, indeed, is the anxiety for the married state now prevalent that the ingenious in speculation have been emboldened to establish "Matrimonial Agency Office," the impatient spinster or bachelor still in a condition of single unhappiness being promised a sure and speedy release from purgatory, if he will only consult the enterprizing Schwartz, the great international go-between, who can "produce testimonials," and has reduced matchmaking to a science, who attends to the gentlemen whilst his wife manages the female department, to whom all applications must be sent "prepaid," and who brought about the famous union of "Louis Sabbarth, Esq., Chancellor of the Royal Prussian Consulate at Belgrade, with the Lady Pauline Von Timini, daughter of a Commander of the Turkish Order of Ilnaschar, with brilliants."

a

But, as we said before, a royal and economical road to marriage may be found in divers cheap and popular, but not fashionable, weekly journals. Applicants for relief describe their recommendations, mental and otherwise, exchange cartes de visite, and are able to come to an arrangement more or less satisfactory, in fields that but for this ingenious plan would have remained unbeaten, in a straightforward, business-like style, with none of the tedious personal interviews, lovers' quarrels, &c., that embarrass matrimonial operations in general. It is possible that a few of the advertisements alluded to are hoaxes, or something worse; but there is every reason to believe that the large majority are put forward in perfect good faith, and with hopes of a happy result. From the number constantly appearing, we may argue that the experiment cannot have been found quite a failure. We should remember, too, that the fact of lads and lasses being reduced to the desperate resource of advertizing does not involve the assumption that they are altogether unworthy of the blessed statemiserable screws, who could not possibly succeed by legitimate means. They are simply the victims of untoward circumstances. Just as there is a lack of labour in one part of the kingdom, and an overplus of "hands" in another, so does the sterner sex unduly

preponderate in one district, and the "dear creatures" in another. It is the mission of the amiable Schwartz and others of his tribe, including divers philanthropic editors, to restore the balance, to encourage emigration, to open up fresh fields of enterprize, and to put the despairing ones in a fair way of getting all they want.

And now we shall pause for a moment, to allow some of the advertisers to speak for themselves. By so doing we may gain some clue as to their occupations, desires, and the extent of their means. "G. T." is forty, and a widower, with 2007. a year. "S.T." is "an industrious mechanic," whose average earnings are not specified. "Pretty Gipsy Nell" is a governess, tired of schooling, as well she may be, and in her own opinion equally adapted to the kitchen, the business house, or the drawing-room. "Leon de Monte," in addition to attractions too numerous to mention, can boast that of being the owner of a grocer's shop, in a good way of business.

"Adolphus," who has nothing to say for himself except that he is "tall," and has 3007. a year from household property, wishes to correspond with Beatrice Anne, about whom we should know more if we could lay hands on a certain missing back number. "St. Clare" is not only dark and handsome, but has a yearly income of 4007.; "Anne," nineteen, and a handsome blonde, has one of 300Z.; and "Kitty Clyde, twenty, and very pretty"-in her own estimation-is an heiress, but to what, or to how much, she does not inform us.

"B. A." "the father of a young gentleman, aged twenty-one years, is extremely desirous of obtaining a suitable wife for his son, and would settle at once from 100l. to 2007. a year on him, provided the lady, after strict inquiry, pleased both." The young gentleman, so competitors are confidingly assured, "is not as yet aware of his parent's wishes for his welfare, and he is described as a remarkably fine young man, five feet ten inches in height, and moral in the extreme in every way." For aught we know to the contrary, this highly advantageous young person may be one of those whose sentiments on the matrimonial question have elicited such warm commendations from the Editors of the New York Nation, and who, according to a native contemporary, when they see a happy swain conducting a very pretty girl out of a carriage into St. George's, Hanover-square, are wont to ejaculate "beast!" A young gentleman, it may be added, whose opinions,-if such as we suspect, would be sadly at variance with those of his esteemed father, who plainly has the most orthodox, good, old-fashioned convictions on the subject of marriage, and who, looking around at his olive branches as they sprout luxuriantly on each side of his dinner30

VOL. VII.

« PrejšnjaNaprej »