conversation concerning the literary merits of the two countries, in which Buchanan was introduced, a Scotchman, imagining that on this ground he should have an undoubted triumph over him, exclaimed, "Ah, Dr. Johnson, what would you have said of Buchanan had he been an Englishman ?" “Why, sir,” said Johnson, after a little pause, "I should not have said of Buchanan, had he been an Englishman, what I will now say of him as a Scotchman—that he was the only man of genius his country ever produced."-Boswell.

There are few tasks more dreary and wearisome than the perusal of a jest-book. Such pursuit of pleasure soon becomes a wofully serious business. Indeed, for steady reading, a dictionary would be decidedly preferable. Having before me the lively remembrance of personal sufferings, and the dread of inflicting like ills upon innocent and unoffending people, I have given but few examples of Johnson's wit and humor, and have contracted these divisions of my work within narrow limits. The Index will aid any one who wishes to pursue the subject systematically.-Editor.

HUMOR.

He would not allow Scotland to derive any credit from Lord Mansfield, for he was educated in England. "Much," said he, "may be made of a Scotchman if he be caught young."-Boswell.

A gentleman who had been very unhappy in marriage, married immediately after his wife died. Johnson said it was the triumph of hope over experience.-B. Langton.

Being solicited to compose a funeral sermon for the daughter of a tradesman, he naturally inquired into the character. of the deceased; and being told she was remarkable for her

humility and condescension to inferiors, he observed that those were very laudable qualities, but it might not be so easy to discover who the lady's inferiors were.-B. Langton.

A gentleman having said that a congé d'elire has not, perhaps, the force of a command, but may be considered only as a strong recommendation, "Sir," replied Johnson, who overheard him, "it is such a recommendation as if I should. throw you out of a two-pair-of-stairs window, and recommend you to fall soft."-Boswell.

Miss Reynolds was asked for her toast after supper, as the custom was; and not answering readily, was required to give the ugliest man she knew. Without further hesitation. she named Goldsmith; on which the Mrs. Cholmondeley of that day, with a sudden burst of sympathy, rose up on the other side of the table and reached across to shake hands with her. "Thus," exclaimed Johnson, who was present"thus the ancients, on the commencements of their friendships, used to sacrifice a beast betwixt them."-John Forster (abridged).

I pitied a friend before Johnson who had a whining wife, that found everything painful to her, and nothing pleasing. "He does not know that she whimpers," says Johnson. "When a door has creaked for a fortnight together, you may observe, the master will scarcely give sixpence to get it oiled."-Mrs. Piozzi.

His humor crept into the sober pages of his Dictionary, as in these two instances:

"Grub Street. The name of a street in London much inhabited by writers of small histories, dictionaries, and poems; whence any mean production is called 'Grub Street.'

"Lexicographer. A writer of dictionaries, a harmless drudge."

After returning from his Scottish tour, he wrote to Boswell:

"I hope Mrs. Boswell and little Miss are well. When shall I see them again? She is a sweet lady, only she was so glad to see me go, that I have almost a mind to come again, that she may again have the same pleasure."-Editor.

He said, "You think I love flattery, and so I do; but a little too much always disgusts me. That fellow, Richardsou, on the contrary, could not be contented to sail quietly down the stream of reputation without longing to taste the froth from every stroke of the oar."-Mrs. Piozzi.

Mrs. Digby was present at the introduction of Dr. Johnson at one of the late Mrs. Montagu's literary parties, when she herself, with several still younger ladies, almost immediately surrounded our Colossus of literature (an odd figure, sure enough) with more wonder than politeness; and while contemplating him as if he had been some monster from the deserts of Africa, Johnson said to them, "Ladies, I am tame; you may stroke me!"-B. N. Turner (in the New Monthly Magazine, December, 1818).

After breakfast on Friday a curious trait occurred of Dr. Johnson's jocosity. While Mrs. Thrale was in the midst of her most flattering persuasions,* the Doctor, seesawing in his chair, began laughing to himself so heartily as to almost shake his seat as well as his sides. We stopped our confabulation, in which he had ceased to join, hoping he would reveal the subject of his mirth; but he enjoyed it inwardly, without heeding our curiosity, till at last he said he had been struck with a notion that "Miss Burney would begin her dramatic career by writing a piece called 'Streatham."" He paused, and laughed yet more cordially; and then sud

* That Miss Burney should write a comedy. This scene occurred at the country-seat of the Thrales, at Streatham, where Johnson and Miss Burney were guests.

denly commanded a pomposity to his countenance and his voice, and added, "Yes, 'Streatham. A Farce!" How little did I expect from this Lexiphanes, this great and dreaded lord of English literature, a turn for burlesque humor!— Madame D'Arblay.

PLAYFULNESS.

DR. JOHNSON has more fun, and comical humor, and love of nonsense, than almost anybody I ever saw: I mean, when with those he likes; for otherwise he can be as severe and bitter as report relates him.-Madame D'Arblay..

Next morning I won a small bet from Lady Diana Beauclerk, by asking him as to one of his particularities, which her ladyship laid I durst not do. It seems he had been frequently observed at the Club to put into his pocket the Seville oranges, after he had squeezed the juice of them into the drink which he had made for himself. Beauclerk and Garrick talked of it to me, and seemed to think that he had a strange unwillingness to be discovered. We could not divine what he did with them; and this was the bold question to be put. I saw on his table the spoils of the preceding night, some fresh peels, nicely scraped and cut into pieces. "Oh, sir," said I, "I now partly see what you do with the squeezed oranges you put into your pocket at the Club." Johnson: "I have a great love for them." Boswell: “And pray, sir, what do you do with them? You scrape them, it seems, very neatly; and what next?" Johnson: "Let them dry, sir." Boswell: "And what next?" sir, you shall know their fate no farther." Boswell: "Then the world must be left in the dark. It must be said," assuming a mock solemnity, "he scraped them and let them dry; but what he did with them next, he never could be prevailed upon to tell." Johnson: "Nay, sir, you should say it

Johnson: “Nay,

more emphatically: he could not be prevailed upon, even by his dearest friends, to tell."-Boswell.

I dined with Mrs. Thrale and Dr. Johnson, who was very comic and good-humored. Susan Thrale had just had her hair turned up and powdered, and has taken to the womanly robe. Dr. Johnson sportively gave her instructions how to increase her consequence, and "take upon her" properly. "Begin," he said, "Miss Susan, with something grandsomething to surprise mankind! Let your first essay in life be a warm censure of 'Cecilia.** You can no way make yourself more conspicuous. Tell the world how ill it was conceived, and how ill executed. Tell them how little there is in it of human nature, and how well your knowledge of the world enables you to judge of the failings in that book. Find fault without fear; and if you are at a loss for any to find, invent whatever comes into your mind; for you may say what you please with little fear of detection, since of those who praise 'Cecilia,' not half have read it, and of those who have read it, not half remember it. Go to work, therefore, boldly; and particularly mark that the character of 'Albany' is extremely unnatural, to your own knowledge, since you never met with such a man at Mrs. Cummyn's school."-Madame D'Arblay.

I told him that I heard Dr. Percy was writing the history of the wolf in Great Britain. Johnson: "The wolf, sir! why the wolf? Why does he not write of the bear, which we had formerly? Nay, it is said we had the beaver. Or why does he not write of the gray rat, the Hanover rat, as it is called, because it is said to have come into this country about the time that the family of Hanover came? I should like to see 'The History of the Gray Rat, by Thomas Percy, D.D., Chaplain in Ordinary to His Majesty'" (laughing

*Miss Burney's second novel, which had just appeared.