"THERE'S many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip;" and this little story will prove the truth of the homely adage.

You must know that I am a person upon whom the cares of life do not press very heavily. I am a bachelor just under thirty, running rather to rotundity-a partner in a mercantile house of the highest respectability; and although I attend strictly to the business hours during the greater portion of the year, I usually can contrive to leave London for a part of August, the whole of September, and a week in October.

An autumn or two since, one of the correspondents of our house forwarded me an invitation, in the grouse season, to visit him at his seat between Cairngorum and the banks of the Spey, Aberdeenshire. I am not about to enter into a detail, that would be only admissible in the Sporting Magazine, of my almost daily excursions, shooting, and fishing; nor tell you how many brace of grouse I hit (or missed), or how many pounds of salmon and trout I landed (or lost). Suffice it to say, that the time passed rapidly in the midst of the hospitalities of a very agreeable family; and I really was very sorry when I had to turn my face from peat-fires, oat-cakes, and whisky, towards seacoal smoke, roasted sirloin, and port wine.

In my retrograde movement, I had to stay a night at the little town of Old Meldrum; and the stage-coach deposited me and my luggage at the best, and, for what I know (but not care), the only inn of the place; for oh-ah-alas-I could say with the Yankee who visited England, and left the fair object of his affection at Natchitoches, "My heart is behind!"

though it must, on consideration, be supposed to be a very odd situation for a gentleman's heart.

Talking of hearts, mine is susceptible-rapidly susceptible; the twinkling of a female eye sets it throbbing; a pretty hand winds me up to a pitch; a ringlet turns my head; and a soft female voice melts my very soul. In short, I am naturally amorous-I own it, sans peur,

naturally amorous: but, unlike the generality of sighing lovers, I never suffer the passion to interfere with my appetite. So, seating myself at a table in the coffee-room, I ordered a haddock (quite a different fish from that of London, for he comes to table hot out of the sea, without his skin or head, and is very superior in size and flavour), a dish of Scotch collops (the pieces of veal to be no larger than half-a-crown, first delicately fried, and then gently stewed), and a couple of roasted pigeons,-these, with some excellent ale, and a bottle of irreproachable Bordeaux, were to sustain fainting nature. I then glanced round the room to observe who were my companions. At one table was a shrewd, red-faced person, with a tumbler of mixture before him; a pewter measure holding half a pint, and a jug of hot water and some sugar. Near to him, at another table, sat a staid, thoughtful-looking man, who had the air of a clergyman, but not a rich one. He had finished his dinner, and had a newspaper before him. He watched with looks of astonishment the frequent potations of his neighbour; and at length said,

"Mr. M'Taggart, do you not find that quantity of ardent spirit prejudicial to your health ?"

Mr. M'Taggart replied: "I canna say I do, sir; nor do I think that any o' my family ever suffered by it. There was my uncle by the maternal branch, Bailie Ritchie, magistrate o' the town o' Fraserburgh, died in 1783, in the eighty-eighth year o' his age! He was for the last fifty years in the use of getting drunk twice a-day on raw whisky. He ate heartily, though he took little or no exercise,-a truly gifted person! He is computed to have drank during the period of his inebriation, half a century, a quart of whisky per day, a decidedly happy-constitutioned man! About five years before his death he broke his arm. He never fevered with the fracture, and very soon recovered. He was a short and spare man, about five feet five inches in height. He enjoyed excellent health till the last

hour of his life. A wonderful person, and an upright magistrate."

"When he could stand," thought I. "My father," continued Mr. M'Taggart, "was an elder-ye are an Episcopalian, Mr. Buchan, and your church is differently governed; and although my father did his duty of visiting and praying with the sick, in the absence of the minister, he was of a convivial nature, notwithstanding that he had to report the petty offences, such as are below the cognisance o' the law, and which pass under the general name of skullduddery. Our minister was a very rigid pastor, and insisted on the elders enforcing a Judaical observance o' the Sabbath; and they were compelled to search on Sunday evenings the public-houses; and if any person not belonging to the family was found therein, he was subject to fine, or, if he could not give an account of himself, perhaps to imprisonment. But to a convivial temperament this was very disagreeable; and means were discovered by all who had a mind to evade the laws of sobriety in the following manner : They called at my father, the elder's house, on pretence of seeking the benefit of his prayers or family worship. This duty being over, my praiseworthy father put up his Bible on an adjoining shelf, and took down a bowl, in which he made some punch, presenting at the same time something to eat, as mutton ham, oat-cake, cheese, or dried fish, which they called 'a spiritual relish. The elder's bowl being soon exhausted, each of his guests in his turn insisted on having also his bowl; for which demands the host took care beforehand to be well provided with rum and other ingredients, which he retailed in this private manner, chiding and admonishing his guests for their intemperance, at the same time that he took glass for glass with them. When all had supplied their quantum of punch, my father used to give one more bowl for the good of the house;' and the company parted at a late hour, sufficiently replenished, it must be owned, with the spirit.'

I had ordered my repast of the landlord; but the above conversation was interrupted by the opening of the coffee-room door, and the en

trance of, tray in hand, to lay my
cloth, the prettiest little Scotch lassie
I ever beheld in humble life. I have
already described my inflammability.
She had not laid the cloth before my
heart was irrecoverably lost. I had
been reading, during my visit to Scot-
land, Robert Burns's poems for the
first time in my life. A stanza of his
instantly recurred to me-
"Sae flaxen were her ringlets,

Her eyebrows of a darker hue,
Bewitchingly o'er-arching
Twa laughing een o' bonnie blue.
Her smiling, sae wyling,

Wad make a wretch forget his woe;
With pleasure, what treasure,

Unto those rosy lips to grow." Her small hands placed the knives and forks and spoons before me in noiseless activity, and I caught myself in the act of heaving a tremendous sigh; and when she favoured me with a slight glance, that seemed kindly to say, "What's the matter wi' the gentleman ?" I dexterously turned it off into three loud ahems, as if I had been clearing my voice for a song. (I can sing a tolerable song, "Here's a health to thee, Mary," or "The Banks of the blue Moselle.") My friend with the whisky -toddy gave an occasional leer of admiration at our little waitress, at which I was fool enough to feel momentarily angry. I could have broken his pitcher on his head; split his gay jug on his ugly mug. But I had a different feeling when the Rev. Mr. Buchan put a few questions to Jessie about her mother and her two brothers,-alack, a widow and orphans! for she answered so gracefully, and with such intelligence, that if I was before only in love chin-deep, I was now immersed over head and ears.

As Jessie left the room, I could not but notice her jaunty air and her bustle-a e-a sort of bustle that seemed natural to her. When she had disappeared, Mr. M'Taggart said, "A healsome, cannie lassie, that."

"Ay," replied the clergyman, "and she is as good-hearted as she is wellfavoured; she works hard in her situation here, and all her gains go to her poor mother."

My little enchantress re-entered with the cruet-stand. I now made an observation that her dress was peculiarly becoming. In costumes

there is a striking coincidence between those of the country lasses of Scotland and les jeunes paysannes in France. They wear waistcoats, or linders, reaching no farther down than the waistband of the petticoat, called jupe, as in France, and shaped in the same manner, with tight long sleeves coming down to the wrist; and their hair turned back, and bound round with a fillet or snood. If there were a momentary objection to be made, according to my London notions, it was that Jessie dispensed with those articles of gear denominated stockings-and with three men in the room, I felt that it had an indelicate appearance; but, upon my word and honour, the colour of the ankles beat that of the best silk hose I ever saw. But I might have been mistaken; I was in love, recollect. Jessie then brought in my fish and my long corked bottle. At the sight of the latter, the resemblance to France again presented itself.

At this period Mr. M'Taggart had got into an argument (of which he himself had not the slightest notion) with Mr. Buchan, as to which was to be considered the most agreeable,

66

genteel society or mixed society ?" The clergyman gave an evasive answer, being unwilling, perhaps, to hurt Mr. M'Taggart's feelings. M'Taggart turned round to Jessie, and said, "Eh, my bonnie lassie, ye ha' waited on all degrees; gie me your honest opinion touching genteel' society and 'mixed' society ?"

To which Jessie modestly, but with exceeding archness, replied, "When customers order wine, I look upon them as 'genteel society;' but when they only take whisky-toddy, I regard them as mixed society."

Do you know, at the moment I thought the dear girl exceedingly witty, and I felt that she had paid me a sort of compliment, at which I was much flattered. But my haddock was up before me, smoking hot.

I gazed at her out of the room again, and then pensively fell to. What a charming flavour! Haddock is superior to cod.

On the landlord coming into the room, followed by the waitress, Mr. M'Taggart said, "Davie Grant, your little Jessie has been pulling me to pieces."

Jessie replied, "Eh, now, Mr. M'Taggart; how can you be pulled to pieces, when we only can see you in one lump?"

I was so delighted with the naïveté of the damsel, that I actually knocked the bottle of anchovy over.

"Davie Grant," continued M'Taggart, "I have been jesting with Mr. Buchan here on the old subject o' the elders; ye can confirm the truth of what I say. How did they serve Alick Cantray?"

"Robbed me of my very best customer," answered the landlord. “Mr. Alick Cantray was a substantial farmer, but the deil to drink whisky. He used to come regularly into the town every Friday-marketday, and to stay all night tippling; and sometimes two or three nights. His wife, Mrs. Cantray, went crying to Mr. Pitcairn, their parish minister; and he, good man, determined to reclaim the spendthrift from his vicious courses, and attach him to the interest of the clergy; so he called Alick Cantray up to the order of elders (which he had the power to do). Alick, the new elder, proud of his dignity, renounced his former excesses, and has behaved, ever since, with great gravity and decorum- -save once.

"But he was obliged to drink something?" said M'Taggart.

The

"Mrs. Cantray compromised the matter by making her husband take elder wine," replied Grant. "Mr. Pitcairn rode into Meldrum one day when I was at home, and I respectfully stopped his horse, and said, Mr. Pitcairn, wherein have I offended you that you are doing all in your power to ruin me?' minister was surprised at this salutation, and alighted from his horse, stepped into my house, and earnestly requested to know wherein he had unknowingly been of disservice to me? I sighed, and told him that I had no other complaint against him but that of his having made Mr. Alick Cantray an elder!

"The minister smiled benevolently, and said that he was thoroughly convinced he had effected a good work of pure reformation. All of a sudden, we heard a tremendous noise in the public room,-breaking of glasses, loud swearing, and blows; and Mrs. Grant ran into us, telling me to

part the brawlers in the house; for that Mr. Alick Cantray had drunk two pints of whisky, and had gone collieshangie with Kit Hogshouther, the caird.""

In the meantime, my dishes were as dexterously despatched by me as they were cleared away by the pretty Jessie; and being in the land of sheep's heads, I could not resist throwing a few sheep's eyes at her. Once I imagined I saw a slight blush overspread her cheek, and it was when her mistress had sent her in to know whether I should want a bed in their house that night (perhaps it was my glance); careless and bachelor like, I never thought there could be any thing like a scarcity of accommodation in the Meldrum Hotel, and was surprised to hear that there was but one bed only left. This I immediately directed to be secured for me; and the dear, little, fascinating creature tripped away again.

Mr. Buchan, the clergyman, had been poring over the parliamentary debates in the newspaper, and some dissatisfaction was evidently crossing his mild brow at a speech or paragraph he had just read. He then said, loud enough to be heard by me, "It is a most extraordinary coincidence." I, thinking that he addressed himself to me, replied, "What is the coincidence, sir ?" 66 It would depend entirely on your political sentiments, as how you might feel the application of a verse from Genesis. Here, in this newspaper, is a violent speech by the great Irish agitator; and it seems to me to be insinuated by a passage in Holy Writ, that the reign of evil shall be brought on by men that despise dominion, and speak evil of dignities,' -who shall promise liberty to their followers, while they themselves are the servants of corruption,-who shall resemble Corah, and his companions in rebellion, Dathan and Abiram, and rise up against their civil and ecclesiastical rulers.* This appears to be intimated by one of the most ancient prophecies in the Bible:

'DAN shall be a serpent by the way, an adder in the path, that biteth the horse-heels, so that his rider shall fall backward.'Genesis, xlix. 17.

So says the venerable patriarch in his valedictory and prophetic address to his twelve sons before his death. These words seem to foretell that serpents, or apostates, symbolised by the tribe of Dan, would, in the last times, incite the lower orders to rebel against their governors, and reject their authority."

I remarked to the worthy Mr. Buchan, that there was indeed a singular coincidence in the name; but it might be supposed that the prophecy would extend to the WHOLE WORLD, while the operations of DAN and his tribe were confined to the Emerald Isle and the British House of Commons!

The clergyman not finding me a proselyte, did not go on with his argument. Indeed, I was not sorry to be silent; for Jessie-Jessie floated on the surface of my brain while I sipped my claret: it was a sort of Missisippi!

She was, it appeared, though in this humble situation of life, beautiful and virtuous. She was not deficient

in intellectual qualities. It was about the time, if I was to marry at all, that I ought to marry; but what would my relations say? They might say a great deal, but it would be very little to the purpose,-for my grandmother was only a laundress, and my grandfather a hackney coachman (I do not, under the circumstances, object to mention this). It was the industry and integrity of my father that raised the family to comparative wealth, that started me comfortably and respectably in the world. My partners in the house would be displeased. What was it to them as to whom I should select as a partner for life? Their ladies would probably cut me-so much the better. One, Mrs. Jobkins, was always too patronising; and the other, Mrs. Findlater, was ever making complaints to her husband at what she called "my conduct" to her maids.

I racked my brain various ways as to the mode I should make the lovely Jessie acquainted with my passion; if I could once accomplish that, I should have no fear for the result, as I was not bad-looking; having a fresh complexion, lightish hair; the

VOL. XXIV. NO. CXL.

L

whiskers, I own, a little too red; insinuating eyes (so said Mrs. Findlater), and my clothes were fashionably cut. I wore, besides, such a pair of boots as had never been seen in the town of Meldrum, of the new patent, shining French leather!

I thought of scratching some lines on the window-pane near me with my diamond ring, or pin, and was revolving in my mind what I should inscribe, so as to be equally legible and passionate; when my eye caught a line written by a prior traveller on the glass, which contained this quaint aphorism,-

"Wherever he goes a fool leaves his

mark."

This was a damper-a diamond cut diamond! I then determined to write a short note, that I might be enabled at some period of the evening to put in the hand of the charming Scotch chambermaid; and I own that I trembled when she placed on the table the sheet of paper for which I had rung the bell, knowing that I was about to address it to HER. As Jessie left the room, M'Taggart ogled her, and said, Ech! ye winsome lassic, happy 'ill be the mon wha gains ye."

66

Though I detested the wretch, I did not think that he would be the "happy mon."

I now began to indite a little epistle, but I was sorely puzzled as to the proper and precise wording of it. Should it commence, Dearly beloved?" No; too sudden! "Mr. Wallsend begs to inform Miss Jessie, -No; too formal ! Try again.

If to love without the object of your affections being aware of it is a misfortune"-and here I stuck; and M'Taggart talked so loud, that I could not write another word,-nay, call forth another idea.

Per

haps, thought I, I had better have one more look at her; so I pulled the bell,—but from my feeling of the soft passion of love-so gently, that nobody heard me, and nobody came. Ay, what is love, thought I, without" a ring " So I pulled again, and heard the welcome tinkle which would bring my Jessie to my longing eyesight.

She came- -bless her!-looking more delightful than ever; but she did not approach my table. I was the

last customer, for a sheet of paper; but she went to M'Taggart's side of the room, and said, in a silvery, plaintive tone to him, "I doubt ye'll take no more whisky the night ?" "Anither gill, if ye love me, Jessie ?" answered M'Taggart. Jessie gave him a sweet but reproachful glance, exclaiming, "Ech! a wilful man will ha' his own way." Fired by jealousy, and determined not to be outdone, I said, "Bring me some whisky, Jessie, and some sugar, sweet. "Nae doubt our sugar is sweet, sir," innocently replied Jessie.

I drank of the hot whisky-toddy. Byron has somewhere said, give an Irishman whisky, and he is the most imaginative being in existence. Now, although I am not an Irishman, but a veritable member of Cockaigne, I felt my cerebral energy warm and expand after two or three more copious sips. I seized my pen, but then discovered that in my previous efforts I had spoiled all my paper. I therefore rung the bell again. The beauteous creature re-entered, and asked in so sweet a tone, "if I wished for any more whisky?" that, taken unawares, I answered, "Yes, my love; but I want another sheet of writing-paper" (and my voice faltered), as I have to send a letter to a lady." Then Jessie said, “A letter to a lady! I must e'en then gie you a sheet o' my own." sheet of her own paper,-bless the little thoughtful dear! It was produced. I attempted an amorous, thankful glance at her, but it failed; for I happened to sneeze at the same moment, some grains of Mr. Buchan's mull having wafted across the room, and unfortunately titillated my nostril; and this failure was not improved by observing MTaggart tip Jessie one of the most knowing winks I ever witnessed.

A

After collecting my scattered thoughts, I began to pen the warm effusions of my heart,-greatly interrupted, I own, by the entrance of a strange-looking character, who placed a very large package on the floor.

He wore a long duffle great-coat, splashed quite up to the shoulders; a coarse figured tartan waistcoat and trousers. He had two feet, certainly not a pair,- for one was a splay, and the other (I suppose in accordance