Gipps for stealing the vegetables, and Joseph Banger, alias Gay Joc, for receiving the same, knowing them to be stolen, and who sold them to the female retailer in the market. The assizes being held in the same week, Hannah Cook was put into the witness-box to prove the property of her master, and swore to the cutting of the carrot-tops; and then fainted away in court, overcome with her emotions. Humphry Gipps said nothing in his defence; but Gay Joe told the judge that he considered the affair of the carrots as a "gallows plant." The two gentlemen received and endured the sentence which his lordship (guided by the collective intelleet of twelve common jurymen, five of whom had been asleep during the trial) was kind enough to inflict. But this event did not at all increase the popularity of Mr. Bramble amongst the working classes of the neighbourhood. "Vat vas a few carritts and inguns, that two poor buffers vas to be stuck on the treadveel? Niver mind; some of these here days ve shall shew the quality vot they are vorth." And with this shrewd and philosophic remark, so creditable to the feelings of the utterer, the cruelty towards Messieurs Gipps and Banger was to be avenged. In fact, Mr. Bramble, although he did not confide his suspicions to his family, became assured that evil intentions prevailed against him and his villa. For some wicked person had chalked on the exterior of the stable the word "NOSE;" the parlour windows were broken with stones by unseen projectors; a field-gate was lifted off its post and hinges, and pitched into a horse-pond; and a wooden trunk-pipe, a short way below the cottage, which carried off the contents of a muddy ditch at the back of Mr. Bramble's premises, was stopped up by an old hat filled with clay, which caused an exceedingly unpleasant overflow of slimy water in various parts of the villa during the night; for, on the family coming down in the morning, the first sight was the children's shoes floating about in the passage; some of the little vessels had filled and gone down; the long, upright, old-fashioned clock, behind the door, had "two feet water in the hold," Poor thing! it could not help itself, for though it could tick, it could not tack; the lambskin-rug mat was swimining, sopped; and the cat had scampered up-stairs out of the reach of the rising water, ominously contemplating it. [N. B. She was in a state of low spirits on account of the loss of her kitten; in fact, she was "as melancholy as a cat."] But having gone thus far in the chapter, it is almost time to speak of our Dog. Mr. Bramble, being tired of his repeated losses, determined to add to his establishment a guardian, in the shape of a watch-dog; and he looked out for a strong and savage animal. A neighbouring farmer, a Mr. Spigott, had several dogs of this description; and one of them, a large mongrel of a dark brindled colour, Mr. Bramble observed was always chained up. He, however, struck up a bargain with Mr. Spigott for this dog, whose name was Nero; and an ugly dog he was. He resembled the son of Ahenobarbus and Agrippina in the ferocity of his disposition. Like his namesake, also, he had a hoarse rough voice, and often passed the day without cating; but this was not a matter of choice, but of necessity. Well, he was sent home to Mr. Bramble's yard, and an empty cask being assigned to him for a dwelling, in which he reposed in the day time like another Diogenes. But, literally, to (as the French say) revenons à nos moutons, we will now premise that Mr. Bramble had made up his mind to accomplish the act which was his darling desire,-“ tó kill his own mutton;" and he had given orders that a prime eight-tooth Merino sheep, which he had fattened himself on turnips and clover, should be slaughtered. Oh, how he anticipated the exquisite haunches, hung the proper time!--the delicate neck, the kidneys, the grilled breast! Well, he had left his directions, and signed the death-warrant of the sheep; and while he was busying himself at the assizes, the butcher had arrived and effected his purpose. At about eleven o'clock of a fine moonlight night in October, Mr. and Mrs. Bramble had retired to bed. Mrs. Bramble had said her prayers; and after a few unimportant questions and answers, the worthy couple prepared to sink into soft repose, fatigued with the toils of the day, when, lo! Nero began to bark hoarsely and incessantly. We all know what a disagreeable effect is usually produced on the nerves by this interruption to one's rest. Mr. Bramble, in his nightcap, called to Nero from the window. He soothed, he scolded, he swore-but in vain; Nero barked and howled inexorably. Mr. Bramble partially dressed; and arming himself with his sharpshooter's rifle, he descended the stairs with due precaution, and sallied forth like a Mohawk Indian from his wigwam. Inspecting his premises, exterior of barn, stable, out-buildings, cartsheds, pig-styes, he could not discover any cause that Nero should exert himself so vociferously; he therefore ordered the dog into his tub, and returned to his own bed; wherein he had just succeeded in tucking himself up comfortably, when Nero recommenced. So up got poor Mr. Bramble again, and down he went; and after a careful investigation he ascertained that Nero was barking at the moon, and there could be no stopping him that night while he was out in the open air. So he hastily resolved to unfasten the rope by which he was tied, and lead him out of the moonshine into an unoccupied corner of the barn. Nero followed Mr. Bramble with great alacrity. He probably had a better nose than his master, who led Nero, as Seneca is said to have led the Roman emperor in the earlier period of his reign. But this docility was soon discovered to be artificial; and Nero the dog, like Nero the dogmatic, displayed the propensities of his nature the moment his master's back was turned. Mr. Bramble tied the rope to a wallhook, for which he fumbled, as the barn was rather dark; and closing the door, left the dog to his slumbers, returned to bed; where, finding the animal now quite quiet, Mr. Bramble entered into a prolix argument with Mrs. Bramble on the propriety of a human being, who could reason, assisting with his intel and that he had suggested that it was the glare of the moon that was in some way objectionable to the dog. He continued in the same strain on instinct, and clearly explained how it differed from intellect by the unerring certainty of the means it employs, and the uniformity of its results, independent of all instruction or experience. He was growing warmer on his subject; but Nero having become silent, a gentle snore announced to the lecturer that Mrs. Bramble had been fast asleep during the whole of his discourse. So he bit his tongue and held it, and quickly followed the excellent example of his wife. But how was Nero employed? Did he go to sleep? No! There was something to him excessively attractive in the barn, and of which Mr. Bramble was, alas! unaware. The carcass of the much-prized Merino sheep was hanging there. The mind of Bramble had been so occupied, that he never inquired where his mutton had been placed; and Nero quickly broke his rope, and discovered that which was quite in his line. So he lost no time in greedily falling to on the best end of the loin; then had a bite out of the leg; a second ditto, which took out a delicious pope's eye; now he had a grab at the chump end of the loin; now at the kidneys, the heart, and the liver, with sundry tearings at the best end of the neck,-in fact, Nero literally gorged on the Merino. His only fault was that he was too fond of mutton; and that was the reason that Mr. Spigott parted with him. Mr. Serjeant Bramble heartily cursed the" instinct" of Nero! THE HISTORY OF SAMUEL TITMARSII AND THE GREAT HOGGARTY DIAMOND. EDITED AND ILLUSTRATED BY SAM'S COUSIN, MICHAEL ANGELO, CHAPTER XI. IN WHICH IT APPEARS THAT A MAN MAY POSSESS A DIAMOND AND YET BE VERY On that fatal Saturday evening, in a The house before which the coach stopped seemed to be only one of half-a-dozen in that street, which were used for the same purpose. No man, be he ever so rich, can pass by those dismal houses, I think, without a shudder. The front windows are barred, and on the dingy pillar of the door was a shining brass plate, setting forth that "Aminadab, Officer to the Sheriff of Middlesex," lived therein. A little red-haired Israelite opened the first door as our coach drove up, and received me and my baggage. As soon as we entered the door, he barred it, and I found myself in the face of another huge door, which was strongly locked; and, at last, passing through that, we entered the lobby of the house. There is no need to describe it. It is very like ten thousand other houses in our dark city of London. There was a dirty passage and a dirty stair, and from the passage two dirty doors let into two filthy rooms, which had strong bars at the windows, and yet withal an air of horrible finery that makes me uncomfortable to think of even yet. On the walls hung all sorts of trumpery pictures in tawdry piece, huge French clocks, vases, and candlesticks; on the side - boards, enormous trays of Birmingham plated-ware; for Mr. Aminadab not only arrested those who could not pay money, but lent it to those who could; and had already, in the way of trade, sold and bought these articles many times over. I agreed to take the back-parlour for the night, and, while a IПebrew damsel was arranging a little dusky sofa-bedstead (woe betide him who has to sleep on it!), I was invited into the front parlour, where Mr. Aminadab, bidding me take heart, told me I should have a dinner for nothing, with a party who had just arrived. I did not want for dinner, but I was glad not to be alone—not alone, even till Gus came, for whom I despatched a messenger to his lodgings hard by. I found there, in the front parlour, at eight o'clock in the evening, four gentlemen, just about to sit down to dinner. Surprising! there was Mr. B., a gentleman of fashion, who had only within halfan-hour arrived in a postchaise, with his companion Mr. Lock, an officer of Horsham gaol. Mr. B. was arrested in this wise:-He was a careless, good-humoured gentleman, and had endorsed bills to a large amount for a friend, who, a man of high family and unquestionable honour, had pledged the latter, along with a number of the most solemn oaths, for the payment of the bills in question. Having endorsed the notes, young Mr. B., with a proper thoughtlessness, forgot all about them, and so, by some chance, did the friend whom he obliged; for, instead of being in London with the money for the payment of his obligations, this latter gentleman was travelling abroad, and never hinted. 718 was taken from his bed by a bailiff, and carried, on a rainy day, to Horsham gaol; had a relapse of his complaint, and when sufficiently recovered, was brought up to London to the house of Mr. Aminadab, where a pale, thin, goodI found him humoured, lost young man; he was lying on a sofa, and had given orders for the dinner, to which I was invited. The lad's face gave one pain to look at; it was impossible not to see that his hours were numbered. Now Mr. B. has not any thing to do with my humble story; but I can't help mentioning him as I saw him. He sent for his lawyer and his doctor; the former settled speedily his accounts with the bailiff, and the latter arranged all his earthly accounts; for after he went from the spunging-house he never recovered from the shock of the arrest, and in a few weeks he died. And though this circumstance took place many years ago, I can't forget it to my dying day, and often see the author of Mr. B.'s death,- --a prosperous gentleman, riding a fine horse in the Park, lounging at the window of a club with many friends no doubt, and a good reputation. I wonder whether the man sleeps easily and eats with a good appetite? I wonder whether he has paid Mr. B.'s heirs the sum which that gentleman paid and died for? If Mr. B.'s history has nothing to do with mine, and is only inserted here for the sake of a moral, what business have I to mention particulars of the dinner to which I was treated by that gentleman, in the spunging-house in Cursitor Street? Why, for the moral too; and, therefore, the public must be told of what really and truly that dinner consisted.. There were five guests, and three silver tureens of soup: viz. mockturtle soup, ox-tail soup, and giblet soup. Next came a great piece of salmon, likewise on a silver dish, a roast goose, a roast saddle of mutton, roast game, and all sorts of adjuncts. In this way can a gentleman live in the letter that I had despatched to Gus, who had never been in a "Have him in," said Mr. B., "if he's a friend of Mr. Titmarsh's; for, cuss me, I like to see a rogue: and run me through, Titmarsh, but I think you are one of the best in Londoй. You beat Brough; you do, by Jove! for he looks like a rogue -any body would swear to him: but you! by Jove you look the very picture of honesty!" "A deep file," said Aminadab, winking, and pointing me out to his friend Mr. Jehoshaphat. "A good one," says Jehoshaphat. "In for three hundred thousand pound," says Aminadab; "Brough's right-hand man, and only three-andtwenty." "Mr. Titmarsh, sir, your 'ealth, sir," says Mr. Lock, in an ecstasy of admiration. "Your very good 'ealth, sir, and better luck to you next time." "Pooh, pooh! he's all right," says Aminadab; "let him alone." "In for what?" shouted I, quite amazed. Why, sir, you arrested me for 901." 66 "Yes, but you're in for half a Them million, you know you are. debts I don't count them paltry I mean accounts. tradesmen's Brough's business. It's an ugly one : but you'll get through it. We all know you; and I lay my life that when you come through the court. Mrs. Titmarsh has got a handsome thing laid by." "Mrs Titmarsh has a small pro<-- then ?” stand then; but the meaning of which I have since comprehended, for they took me to be a great rascal I am sorry to say, and supposed that I had robbed the I. W. D. Association, and, in order to make my money secure, settled it on my wife. It was in the midst of this conversation that, as I said, Gus came in; and whew! when he saw what was going on, he gave such a whistle! "Herr Von Joel, by Jove!" says Aminadab. At which all laughed." "Sit down," says Mr. B.,-" sit down, and wet your whistle, my piper! I say, egad! you're the piper that plays before Moses! Had you there, Dab. Dab, get a fresh bottle of burgundy for Mr. Hoskins.” And before he knew where he was, there was Gus for the first time in his life drinking Clot-Vougeot. Gus said he had never tasted Bergamy before, at which the bailiff sneered, and told him the name of the wine. "Old-clo! What?" says Gus; and we laughed, but the Hebrew gents did not this time. "Come, come, sir!" says Mr. Aminadab's friend, "ve're all shentlemen here, and shentlemen never makish reflexhunsh upon other shentlemensh pershuashunsh.” After this feast was concluded, Gus and I retired to my room to consult about my affairs. With regard to the responsibility incurred as a shareholder in the West Diddlesex, I was not uneasy; for though the matter might cause me a little trouble at first, I knew I was not a shareholder; that the shares were scrip shares, making the dividend payable to the bearer; and my aunt had called back her shares, and consequently I was free. But it was very unpleasant to me to consider that I was in debt nearly a hundred pounds to tradesmen, chiefly of Mrs. Hoggarty's recommendation; and as she had promised to be answerable for their bills, I determined to send her a letter, reminding her of her promise, and begging her at the same time to relieve me from Mr. Von Stiltz's debt, for which I was arrested, and which was incurred not certainly at her desire, but at Mr. Brough's; and would never have been incurred by me, but at the absolute demand of that gentleman. I wrote to her, therefore, begging her to pay all these debts, and promised myself on Monday morning again to be with my dear wife. Gus carried off the letter, and promised to deliver it in Bernard Street after church-time, taking care that Mary should know nothing at all of the painful situation in which I was placed. It was near midnight when we parted, and I tried to sleep as well as I could in the dirty little sofa-bedstead of Mr. Aminadab's back-parlour. That morning was fine and sunshiny, and I heard all the bells ringing cheerfully for church, and longed to be walking to the Foundling with my wife; but there were the three iron doors between me and liberty, and I had nothing for it but to read my prayers in my own room, and walk up and down afterwards in the court at the back of the house. Would you believe it? This very court was like a cage! Great iron bars covered it in from one end to another; and here it was that Mr. Aminadab's gaol-birds took the air. They had seen me reading out of the prayer-book at the back-parlour window, and all burst into a yell of laughter when I came to walk in the cage. One of them shouted out "Amen!" when I appeared; another called me a muff (which means, in the slang language, a very silly fellow); a third wondered that I took to my prayer-book yet. When do you mean, sir?" says I to the fellow-a rough man, a horsedealer. 66 Why when you are going to be hanged, you young hypocrite!" says the man. "But that is always the way with Brough's people," continued he. "I had four greys once for him -a great bargain, but he would not go to look at them at Tattersall's, nor speak a word of business about them, because it was a Sunday." "Because there are hypocrites, sir," says I, religion is not to be considered a bad thing; and if Mr. Brough would not deal with you on a Sunday, he certainly did his duty." The men only laughed the more at this rebuke, and evidently considered me a great criminal. I was glad to be released from their society, by the appearance of Gus and Mr. Smithers. Both wore very long faces. They were ushered into my room, and, without any orders of |